Thursday, February 14, 2013

The heart

Happy Valentine's Day!

I hope your day is filled with love and hugs and all kinds of other mushy stuff. And most especially be sure to give a bunch of that love to your own self. "Self! I love you! You are so special and so beautiful! Thank you for being awesome."

Hopefully you smiled while reading that rather than rolling your eyes. If instead you thought about all the reasons you are not awesome, please read on. 

"When you see the heart you will know what to do." 




It's an excerpt from: The Parent's Tao Te Ching: Ancient Advice for Modern Parents by William Martin which just so happens to be great advice for raising children AND living with other adults AND being with ourselves.

Here is the passage edited with a focus on looking to ourselves (rather than how the author wrote it as a focus on children):


Some behavior in yourself will seem "good" to you. 
Other behavior will seem unequivocally "bad."
Notice both in yourself
without being overly impressed by one
nor overly dismayed by the other. 
In doing so you will be imitating the Tao 
which sees our behavior as a mask
and sees immediately beneath it 
to the good within our heart. 
Above all, do not attack your behavior 
and attempt to change it by endless talking and scolding. 
Stay at your center and look beneath the behavior 
to your heart. 
There you will find only good. 
When you see the heart 
you will know what to do.


I find this passage so immensely powerful. It gives me a path away from self criticism. It gives me a way to love the parts that I initially call out as "bad." When I see my heart, I can do nothing but love myself even more. 

I am here to tell ya, that this stuff is real and powerful. And more importantly, at least for me, is that it's peaceful. I get to think about all kinds of other fun things when I set myself free from trash talking. 

Give it a whirl: "Happy Valentine's Day to me." "I love being me."

Thanks for reading my post. I sincerely hope you enjoy your magical Valentine's day. 

Monday, February 4, 2013

Teenage girl is a beautiful object

This little number made its way around on Facebook and I thought it was important to share here as well. The sarcasm hits poignantly:

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Advanced Style: Inspiration

Photo by Ari Seth Cohen



Some of New York City's senior women are getting recognized for their stunning fashion sense at Advanced Style. Blogger Ari Seth Cohen has been taking pictures of chic women over 60 since 2008. These women may have wrinkles, they may have a few extra pounds but no one can deny they have beautiful style. 

You have to check out this site. It's just incredible.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Getting beyond "You are so cute!"

Check out this great article written by Lisa Bloom entitled "How to talk to little girls"

Our first impulse when we meet a little girl is to compliment the way she is dressed or how cute she is. "Oh my WORD! You are simply adorable in that tutu! You look like a beautiful princess!"

How wrong could it be to break the ice with a stunning compliment?

If adults are children's source of understanding what is valuable and little girls hear only comments about how they look - isn't that just another way we are setting up the pressure to be beautiful?

The article gives a few scary stats confirming that the pressure to be beautiful is thriving quite well even among the 3-6 year old girl group.

Consider another line of conversation. Have a few back-ups so you can work on the fly. Show little girls that their tutu maybe a fun thing to wear but what goes on in their head is what's really delightful to you.

Friday, December 14, 2012

I am exactly the person that I want to be

My good friend Kari shared this video with me. She said she saw it and thought of Our Beautiful Project. Now I am very much in love with this song. Once you watch it I think you will understand why. 





Monday, December 10, 2012

Pay it forward

If I had stopped to think about what I was planning on doing I probably wouldn't have done it. Not that it was a bad idea, it's just that I was kinda putting myself out there to a stranger who had only given me a warm but quick smile.

I went to a BNI networking group and met a great deal of wonderful people there. I was invited by my friend Eliza Truitt who found the networking group great for her photography business. Before the meeting started a beautiful woman smiled warmly at me. I instantly liked her. Each person said a bit about their business and that is when I found out about Zed, the warm smiling woman. She has a salon right in the heart of Columbia City. She came from Ethiopia and had a long and difficult road getting to the point where she now owns Salon Adidez. I could tell that everyone in the room loved her. 

Eliza told me that Zed's salon is the hub of Columbia City. It's a place where people of every color go to get their hair done—a real melting pot of culture. That's when I had an idea. 

After the meeting I drove to Salon Adidez. I walked in the door and said hello to her. She recognized me but was also surprised. 

I immediately started to regret my boldness but Zed was looking at me and then—I just handed her the framed Beautiful that I had decided I wanted to give to her. 

She was puzzled. She didn't know me or my intentions or the fact that I had decided that she was an incredible person that I wanted to get to know. I was just some woman who she had seen at her BNI meeting. 

And then I got red. I flushed with embarrassment and stammered out a "Here you go, I know you are busy, I'll just leave now." And she quickly said "No no. Please stay, have a seat." 

She showed the framed Beautiful to her client and asked her to read it. Her client loved it! And the 3 of us began to chat about this and that. About an hour later I finally left the salon feeling so much warmth from the visit. 

I went back to her salon a few weeks later and was visiting with Zed again. She shared with me a story about the framed Beautiful I had given her. She said she had a client come in a day or so later whom she hadn't seen in quite a long time. The woman was feeling terrible about herself. Apparently she had breast cancer. Zed wanted to help her realize that she is beautiful and decided to give her client the framed Beautiful that I had given her. The woman was surprised and so effusive with her appreciation. A day later the woman gave Zed a little bouquet of flowers as a thank you. 

Zed knew I wouldn't mind. And I didn't. I did something without stopping to think about the what if's. And now this framed Beautiful has found a proper home with someone who needs it. And that is the best ending to a story I can think of. 

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Operation Beautiful is on a mission

One of the first things I did when I decided to start Our Beautiful Project was to google "Beautiful" and see what would show up. I wanted to know what is happening out there already to encourage women to grow their self-love. What were big corporations doing? What was happening on a grassroots level?  Number 4 in the google search was Operation Beautiful started by Caitlin Boyle.

Caitlin began by simply writing down on a scratch piece of paper "You are beautiful" and taping it to a public bathroom mirror for someone else to find. She would write variations of this note and leave it at work or the gym or even a grocery store public bathroom. Then she decided to launch a web site and grow a community of folks who would do the same thing and have this idea spread. There are quite a few stories of women stumbling across one of these notes at a time when they were really struggling and how much it helped to know that someone out there wanted to remind them that they are beautiful just the way they are.



Put a pack of post-its in your bag and whenever you find yourself in a public bathroom - jot a lovely note and stick it on the mirror for others to find. You can smile the rest of the day pondering what kind of impact you may be having on a total stranger. If you have a sec, take a pic of your Beautiful tactic and post it on Operation Beautiful.



One more thing about Caitlin, she is just publishing a book that tackles beauty issues and is meant for girls ages 8-14. Check it all out. She seriously rules.