The heart

Happy Valentine's Day!

I hope your day is filled with love and hugs and all kinds of other mushy stuff. And most especially be sure to give a bunch of that love to your own self. "Self! I love you! You are so special and so beautiful! Thank you for being awesome."

Hopefully you smiled while reading that rather than rolling your eyes. If instead you thought about all the reasons you are not awesome, please read on. 

"When you see the heart you will know what to do." 

It's an excerpt from: The Parent's Tao Te Ching: Ancient Advice for Modern Parents by William Martin which just so happens to be great advice for raising children AND living with other adults AND being with ourselves.

Here is the passage edited with a focus on looking to ourselves (rather than how the author wrote it as a focus on children):

Some behavior in yourself will seem "good" to you. 

Other behavior will seem unequivocally "bad."

Notice both in yourself

without being overly impressed by one

nor overly dismayed by the other. 

In doing so you will be imitating the Tao 

which sees our behavior as a mask

and sees immediately beneath it 

to the good within our heart. 

Above all, do not attack your behavior 

and attempt to change it by endless talking and scolding. 

Stay at your center and look beneath the behavior 

to your heart. 

There you will find only good. 

When you see the heart 

you will know what to do.

I find this passage so immensely powerful. It gives me a path away from self criticism. It gives me a way to love the parts that I initially call out as "bad." When I see my heart, I can do nothing but love myself even more. 

I am here to tell ya, that this stuff is real and powerful. And more importantly, at least for me, is that it's peaceful. I get to think about all kinds of other fun things when I set myself free from trash talking. 

Give it a whirl: "Happy Valentine's Day to me." "I love being me."

Thanks for reading my post. I sincerely hope you enjoy your magical Valentine's day. 

Teenage girl is a beautiful object

This little number made its way around on Facebook and I thought it was important to share here as well. The sarcasm hits poignantly:

Teenage girl blossoming into beautiful object

Advanced Style: Inspiration

Photo by Ari Seth Cohen

Some of New York City's senior women are getting recognized for their stunning fashion sense at Advanced Style. Blogger Ari Seth Cohen has been taking pictures of chic women over 60 since 2008. These women may have wrinkles, they may have a few extra pounds but no one can deny they have beautiful style. 

You have to check out this site. It's just incredible.

Getting beyond "You are so cute!"

Check out this great article written by Lisa Bloom entitled "How to talk to little girls"

Our first impulse when we meet a little girl is to compliment the way she is dressed or how cute she is. "Oh my WORD! You are simply adorable in that tutu! You look like a beautiful princess!"

How wrong could it be to break the ice with a stunning compliment?

If adults are children's source of understanding what is valuable and little girls hear only comments about how they look - isn't that just another way we are setting up the pressure to be beautiful?

The article gives a few scary stats confirming that the pressure to be beautiful is thriving quite well even among the 3-6 year old girl group.

Consider another line of conversation. Have a few back-ups so you can work on the fly. Show little girls that their tutu maybe a fun thing to wear but what goes on in their head is what's really delightful to you.